Bumper Stickers

If you are going to have any sort of bumper sticker on your car, you had better be a spectacle of perfect driving. Because if you aren't, the very second you slip up I am going to judge and label the group you're associated with; republican, democrat, greyhound lover, honors student mother, firefighter, pixies fan, I don't care. One person with an Oahu sticker on the back of their windshield cut me off, therefore everyone associated with Hawaii is an asshole. Today someone who plays water polo wouldn't let me into their lane, so now I'm obligated to hate all water polo players, despite their fantastic bodies. Thanks a lot.

Honestly, though, I get a little sad when someone drives like an idiot and then I realize they have a sticker on their car with something I'm a part of, like my high school or my political beliefs. Way to give us a bad name, you know?

The one exception, however, is probably funny bumper stickers. (Note: funny political ones don't count) However, I have high standards for these ones. "Don't like my driving? Kiss my ass!" doesn't count.

I would never, ever get a bumper sticker for these reasons BUT if I had to have one, it would probably be: "I drive an old car with a small engine that takes a while to get up to speed, so instead of immediately passing me like a douche-nozzle, why don't you calm your spoiled Orange County ass down and give me 4 seconds."